Morgan’s Rantings and Waxings

So I noticed that the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show was on the other night, on CBS no less (no, I did not watch it), and I thought that TV had stooped to a new low, and then, just ten minutes ago, I turned on to see that Ricki Lake had on “Playboy’s Women of Wal-Mart.” …

Is it just me or is Gollum Willem Defoe on his 610th birthday?

The most recent bit of vandalism in my apartment elevator gave me a chuckle. In the new No Smoking sign, someone etched “I heart hoes.”

Speaking of fast food campaigns, someone needs to tell Arby’s to just drop the friggin oven mitt thing.

It occurs to me that the only real message to the new McDonalds “I’m Lovin’ it” campaign is that you can order what you please at McDonalds. Were you forced to order specific things before?

Do you ever go through those times when motivation is a precious commodity? I’m going through one of those now. The random times when I have motivation I try to do as much as possible in that amount of time. If only I had that motivation all the time. Even coffee isn’t doing the trick …

It amazes me sometimes the length people will go to to vandalize. You know how every single restroom ever with an automatic dryer has certain parts scratched out so that it says “Push Butt” or “Rub hands directly under arm.” Another example is in the elevator in my apartment there is a sign that reads …

So here’s an interesting story. As I write this, I have a parakeet on my shoulder. This bird ran into the door on my sixth floor apartment balcony, and it was obviously someone’s bird. So me and a couple friends grabbed it and went door to door on the apartments asking if anyone had lost …

A girl came in the store the other day with one of the most bizarre shirts I’ve ever seen. It had a picture of a kitten in a bathtub with the slogan “Make Many Soap Bubbles.” I tried it later, but it’s really hard to make soap bubbles with hand soap. Then it occurred to …

So I was driving to work the other day and a truck in front of me had two similar bumper stickers. One said “I love cats, they taste like chicken.” and the other said “If you’re looking for your cat, check under my tires.” Who hates cats that much?