– Why do people always say “It’s like Deja Vu all over again”? – Beautiful women rule the world. I wish they didn’t have such power over me. To quote George Costanza, beautiful women are Godzilla “and I’m thousands of fleeing Japanese.” – Why couldn’t God have given me a calling to be an accountant …
Deep Thoughts – Humorous
If there was a guy named Funny who wasn’t very humorous, would he still be funny? Maybe if he got kicked in the crotch.
Deep Thoughts – Cheetos
If there were no heaven, I think I’d eat a lot more cheetos.
10 Things We Learned from the Bears Game Last Night
1 – Morgan’s heart can take a lot of beating before it explodes. 2 – Matt Leinart is going to be an amazing QB. 3 – Brian Urlacher is amazing. He absolutely refused to let us lose that game (19 tackles!). 4 – Rex Grossman is still young. 5 – Devin Hester is the most …
NFL First Guessing – Week 6
I can hardly express how good it feels to be a Bears fan right now. At the end of this past week, the Bears had the top average points per game for and the top average points per game against. So by that measure, the Bears actually have the best offense AND the best defense …
Deep Thoughts – Hello
Sometimes instead of saying “Hello,� don’t you just feel like saying “I’m Batman.�
Deep Thoughts – Spring
One of these days, I’m finally going to track down that bastard who keeps taking an hour away from me in the spring.
Deep Thoughts – The White Store
One time I thought an empty billboard was selling the color white. So I called the number at the bottom of the billboard and asked, “Is this the white store?� and the guy said, “Excuse me, that’s Caucasian store.� I didn’t even know that was a color.
Deep Thoughts – Interrogation
When you’re being interrogated by the cops, do you ever wonder if there’s another cop behind the two-way mirror making faces at you because you can’t see him. Someday I’ll find you officer goofy-face.
Deep Thoughts – Ugly
Geez, somebody got their face sucked off by the ugly fish.