So while I don’t necessarily consider myself in the “dating scene” right now, I have been on several dates recently. I hadn’t been on a real “date” in a long time, and I’d just like to point out a few things I’ve learned (and yes, I’ve learned all these the hard way).
– Memorize the color of her eyes. Just do it!
– Do not ever, ever, ever, ever, ever say or hint that another girl is prettier than her. This should be self explanatory right Morgan?
– If you meet any of her friends and you don’t really like them, don’t ever ever say anything until she complains to you about said friend, then you can complain a little bit too, but only in support of her.
– If something is different about her appearance even if it is amazingly slight, notice it and compliment her on it.
– If you do really like her, don’t act like it. And if she’s clearly paying attention to you (something you’ve been waiting for for ages), don’t make a big deal out of it. Girls don’t like it when they can really tell that you like them a lot. They’d prefer you to be slightly indifferent, but still wanting to hang out with them. (I don’t get it either)
– If you hear that she lost a close relative earlier in her life, do not make a joke about dying at all until you’ve heard how that relative died.
– Being a good kisser can completely wipe out any non-compliance with any of these aforementioned rules.
“Girls don’t like it when they can really tell that you like them a lot. They’d prefer you to be slightly indifferent, but still wanting to hang out with them.”
Ha…so true! And we don’t entirely get it, either. My theory is that this is the girl version of fear of commitment.
heh.
Morgan.
I’m sure I have something brilliant to say in response to this… I’m just searching for it.
XOXO.
I am not sure I agree with the “be indifferent, but still wanting to hang out” thing. Note, though, that I married Karl, whose number one go-to tactic with women was Being Really Obvious.
Happy anniversary, sweetheart.
Morgan, if it wasn’t overstepping boundaries, I can think of a guy I would send to this blog for “instruction.” good work.
“Girls don’t like it when they can really tell that you like them a lot. They’d prefer you to be slightly indifferent, but still wanting to hang out with them.â€
regarding this, Suzanne makes a good assertion. In my own experience, I think the reason for this is that a woman’s attraction is intensified by observing a guy “in his element,” doing his cool thing apart from her. Seeing that guy widely liked/admired – and not necessarily bringing her into his sphere of wonderfulness all the time – increases her personal like/admiration for him. It also gives her that lucky feeling of “I can’t believe he likes me, too, ee!”
Sometimes I feel really incapacitated and frustrated by my sex’s natural psychological defaults. Does that make me a misogynist?
Morgan, if it wasn’t overstepping boundaries, there is a particular guy I would send to this blog for “instruction.” good work.
“Girls don’t like it when they can really tell that you like them a lot. They’d prefer you to be slightly indifferent, but still wanting to hang out with them.â€
regarding this, Suzanne makes a good assertion. In my own experience, I think the reason for this is that a woman’s attraction is intensified by observing a guy “in his element,” doing his cool thing apart from her. Seeing that guy widely liked/admired – and not necessarily bringing her into his sphere of wonderfulness all the time – increases her personal like/admiration for him, and makes those times that he dotes on her EXTRA SPECIAL AND AWESOME. It increases her sense of luckiness/undeservingness: “I can’t believe he likes me, too, ee!”
Sometimes I feel really incapacitated and frustrated by my sex’s natural psychological defaults. Does that make me a misogynist?
I totally left double commentage, complete with minor edits the second time around. nerd!
I think Rachel should write a song about being a misogynist. I think that would be a song I would greatly enjoy on multiple levels.
Morgan…
“- If you meet any of her friends and you don’t really like them, don’t ever ever say anything until she complains to you about said friend, then you can complain a little bit too, but only in support of her.”
Don’t complain too much though, because in time they’ll be friends again.
“- If you do really like her, don’t act like it. And if she’s clearly paying attention to you (something you’ve been waiting for for ages), don’t make a big deal out of it. Girls don’t like it when they can really tell that you like them a lot. They’d prefer you to be slightly indifferent, but still wanting to hang out with them. (I don’t get it either)”
I personally think it’s because some of us just don’t know how to react. We don’t believe you because generally women are insecure (generally) and we never take compliments well. I’m only now getting to the point where I can just say thank you and not make a big deal instead of going “oh, no you don’t” or “oh, no I’m not”
“- If you hear that she lost a close relative earlier in her life, do not make a joke about dying at all until you’ve heard how that relative died.”
I’m dying to hear the story behind this one!
“- Being a good kisser can completely wipe out any non-compliance with any of these aforementioned rules.”
This is so true!!!
Wah, I’m so glad I met my husband in college and don’t have to date! I could never get used to playing that “don’t show me that you like me, make me wonder” game. I’d rather, in every friendship and relationship, have people be up front with me so I know where I stand.
But I acknowledge that this makes me weird.