So for those of you who have watched the weather channel or a news program of your choice recently and seen the feet upon feet of snow in Michigan and then thought to yourself “I’ll bet that’d be really fun to drive in,” let me be the first to tell you, it’s not. Considering I have to drive 45 minutes on the expressway (the term itself is a lie in these conditions), I get my fill of it. I pass about 4 accidents a day, which doesn’t do much to inspire confidence. But you’d think the plows would find the time to make it out to the most heavily traveled road in the area, but apparently they’re on strike or something, leaving me to drive through a foot of slush the whole time, thinking whenever I’m in the passing lane going by a semi “so this is how I die.”

And then every &*@$ing person who drives an SUV or pick up truck thinks they’re completely immune to the effects of snow (and you always kind of hope you see them in a ditch later down the road). As my dad always says “Four wheel drive simply means you walk further when you get stuck.” I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.