After seeing all of the different titles in the bookstore I work at, featured exclusively in Bookstore Prophecies, I thought, what titles would I carry at my bookstore?

Fiction

Quarter to Dead

I Went to this Party (Prequel to As I Lay Dying)

The Great Gatsby 2, Jay gets a Gat

Mystery

All the Presidead’s Men

Yesterday, I died a lot

Jenny Laughed Sometim – dead!

Romance

Bosomstruck

Corporal Voyeur lost in Pleasureville

Big Penis

True Crime

Oh What a Beautiful Murder, oh what a Beautiful Death

Self-Improvement

Weight-Loss for Stupid Fat Fucks

Get Down!, and Other Bits of Advice to use During a Fire

Improve your Self-Esteem, freak

Procrastinators Poster and Calendar set (some assembly required)

Religion/Inspiration

Why Women should just do What their Husbands Say

Get Married Quick!

The Plague, Insobriety, Harry Potter, and Other Things to Avoid

Current Events

Man, Don’t You Just Hate Black People? – by Ann Coulter

Maybe if we just Ate Illegal Immigrants, Our Tax Problems Would be Over – by Michael Savage

Our Military Beat Up your Honor Role Student – by Sean Hannity

Everything is Clinton’s Fault – by Bill O’Reilly

Beating Around the Bush – Al Franken

Shut Up, Stupids (Definitive Collection of Essays) – by Michael Moore

Diet

This Isn’t the Atkins Diet, I Swear

The Somalia Diet